What makes this Top 5 Action List worth a read? Well I use a highly scientific method using 2,391 factors of methodology to give you a rating system of 5 for the most important factors of any movie. Said factors include Violence, Sex and of course Re-watchability. This list is suppose to make you laugh, marvel at destruction, ponder the sexual prowess of leading ladies and most of all; not waste your time. Enjoy!
5. Lockout (2012)
“It was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.”
What happens when Die Hard and Demolition Man have a baby that grows up to be sued by John Carpenter for plagiarism? You get a bad ass completely underrated film called Lockout! This is a story not just about being stuck on a prison in low orbit with the psychotic inmates in charge while it falls back to earth. Oh no! This is a story about intrigue, state secrets, and is as much of a mystery as it is an action movie. So, thank you Luc Besson for delivering a movie that is steeped in controversy – a gorgeous, endlessly entertaining movie that beat out a hell-of-a-lot of movies to make this list.
But, let us address the elephant in the room: the lawsuit that John Carpenter won claiming that this movie is a shameless Escape from New York rip-off. If that really is true, I would have sued Luc Besson too. Not because I’m particularly litigious but having recently re-watched Escape from New York, Lockout makes it look like a feeble mound of dog shit.
First off, the pace of this movie is brilliant, while, the concepts used are both original and completely plausible. It is an intricate tapestry of hilarious dialogue and light humor, tinged with dark themes. Then there’s Guy Pierce, who, with his charm and his physical vulnerability, is like John McLane in space without the New York accent.
The movie is rounded out by a cast of intriguing characters. Our two main prisoners are brothers in name only and together are like both sides of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde . Our two heads of the CIA and the Secret Service are devious, intense and reflect the good cop bad cop mentality we all love and hate. While, our leading lady undergoes a transformation, from innocent and overwhelmed, to battle tested and hardened. She’s also insanely gorgeous. The only flaw? No sex scene.
Violence: 5/5, Sexy stuff: 1/5, Re-watchability: 5/5
4. Gladiator (2000)
“Strength and honor”
What happens when a good emperor is murdered and his most trusted general stands against the killer, the newly crowned mad emperor? His wife and child are slain, his lands confiscated, and, if that were not enough, he is sentenced to death. Solely by his mettle is he able to escape, his quest for vengeance the sole motivation that keeps him drawing breath.
Found half dead, placed into slavery and made a gladiator, the story of Maximus Decimus Meridius will cut through even the coldest hearts and leave you longing for the lands of Elysium upon death’s meet. Russell Crowe delivers a tour de force performance, the cast are magnificent, and the world of the movie feels as real as the ground under your feet. The action, from the wars to the gladiatorial games, is exciting, captivating and violent. The soundtrack is impeccable and will move you down to the core of your being. This movie is par excellence.
Violence: 5/5, Sexy stuff: 3/5, Re-watchability: 5/5
3. Bloodsport (1988)
“That’s why they call it Bloodsport kid”
Only the worlds greatest fighters are invited to a secret ancient tournament of full contact fighting, known as the Kumite. The prize is to be considered the world’s greatest fighter, standing strong even when faced with death itself. This movie is not only beloved by many viewers, but singlehandedly catapulted the career of Jean Claude Van Damme close to the top echelons of action movie stardom. Every supporting role is perfectly portrayed: the legendary Bolo Yeung (yes we love him) is the best villain you could possibly imagine, Donald Gibb as Jackson makes for the perfect friend, while Leah Aryes is both sexy and seductive as the love interest Janice Kent. Most importantly, the action sequences are sublime. Whether you’re 5 or 505 you will get out of your seat ready for a fight.
Violence: 5/5, Sexy stuff: 3/5, Re-watchability: 5/5
2. Predator (1987)
“What’s the matter Dillon? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?”
Some unfortunate politicians have gone missing in the depths of the Central American jungle and it’s up to Arnie and his crack team to go in and rescue them. What ensues is a close encounter of the most violently entertaining kind.
The Arnie action movie back-catalog is easily the most impressive belonging to any actor of any age and is sure to tower above all comers for generations to come. But what makes this movie a true American Classic is the rest of the cast, which includes action movie heavy-hitters Jessie “The Body” Ventura and Carl Weathers. Such a collection of muscled ego might have unbalanced the movie, but legendary action director John McTiernan gets just the right amount of jungle mayhem out of his co-starring actors to perfectly compliment the movie and, of course, the Austrian Oak.
Shot in the jungle, the movie transports you into the direst of situations. The action sequences remain exceptional all these decades later. While, the heart of the story, that beastly masterpiece of practical effects, The Predator, has spawned a rich lore that will surely intrigue bloodthirsty sci-fi fans for centuries to come. For 19 years, this was easily the greatest action movie ever made.
Violence: 5/5, Sexy stuff: 0/5, Re-watchability: 5/5
1. 300 (2006)
“Spartans! What is your profession?”
In Zack Snyder’s oiled up and glistening version of Frank Miller’s comic, the story of the Spartans and the battle of the Hot Gates is at once thrust from antiquity and into our modern day with unrivalled style, action and wit. Not only is the most underrated action film of all time, it is also the greatest. Every little bit of this movie, right down to the narration, the music and the cast are sheer perfection. Like a comet that rarely crosses our skies, you can easily go the rest of your life and never see a movie like this again. Unless you watch it again… and again… and again.
Violence: 5/5, Sexy stuff: 5/5, Re-watchability: 5/5