I had the opportunity to see Baby Driver last week. I went into it excited, as I am a big fan of fast cars, cool music, and heists. I love Scott Pilgrim, so by proxy, I love the man who created it; what could go wrong? Here is a non-comprehensive list of “everything” I found wrong with Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver.
1. Ok, that first chase scene was fricken epic! It was amazing, an edge of your seat, hand brake fiddling, music rocking, blood pumping, automobile porn. You cannot deliver that big of a payload in the first 10 minutes and NEVER follow up with another chase that was anywhere as exciting!
2. Great, he is young, wears sunglasses, and listens to headphones. What the fuck was with the annoying, out of character, subplot of giving Baby shit? Both The Walking Dead shithead and Ray Charles did their best to play at the schoolyard bully. Completely pulled me out of the movie and had me wondering what the fuck the Edgar Wright had been smoking to think that was just going to pass.
3. So Doc (Kevin Spacey) is a fucking badass. He knows everything about everyone and could (and just might) kill you and your whole family for not playing his game. Established! We got it. So why the hell does he turn feather and become the weakling when Bats flexed his muscle? Why did Baby lie? What the hell is going on with this movie? I bet there will be a big payoff, I bet it will all come to makes sense. (It didn’t)
4. Why did Bats insist on going into the diner? I thought he must know Debora is Baby’s main squeeze. He didn’t. He ordered Coke’s for everyone. Was it all just product placement?
5. Bats really didn’t have the foresight to know that the cops they were buying the weapons from were dirty cops? Didn’t make sure everyone was dead? He is a professional that Doc has used at least one other time. I guess this is the level of competency Doc demands from people. Seems like using more “words” before sending a bunch of maniacs off to buy weapons might have helped. Why the hell was Baby forced to go with them?
6. Why did the whole last 40 minutes of the movie go to hell (aside from the parkour scene)? The final chase scene was just bumper cars in a garage? A man can drive at 50MPH into elevators and not get hurt? It was like the movie had gone from style over substance straight into B-movie territory, and not the fun kind.
9. WHY THE HELL DIDN’T BABY AND DEBORA RUN THE FIRST TWO TIMES THEY WERE ASKED?
10. Why isn’t Jamie Foxx listed on the main cast page on IMDB?
11. ….Ugh. I give up. If they don’t care, I don’t care.
You know, it has a fun soundtrack, with an attractive cast, a couple good action scenes. No one said it was the next Drive, or even the next Drive Hard. I heard someone say it was a long music video. I can almost agree, if this were re-cut to take out all the talking scenes, we might just have an MTV Video Awards winner on our hands.
